In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright.

It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.


Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different.

What do you do if it’s not yet too late?
Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away."

Senior year started and it has been okay & somewhat stressful for me so far.

I've been busying myself with facebook games & thesis to a certain extent. And yeah, that's pretty much it. Hahahaha!

I've been meaning to blog for a while but... I just... Couldn't seem to collect my thoughts nor have anything major to write about. And for more, this is my online journal that the public can easily see so I'm not really sure what & what not to share.

But this, I'm sure of: I've been feeling fine since I did what I had to do.

Hindi talaga mapanatag yung puso ko, hanggang ginawa ko yun. I think it's a good thing. Well, certainly, there are something I'd miss. But the vindication I felt was more than enough.

Well, back to reading journals for the thesis. And these are economic journals. Ugh! >_

STOP AYETH, STOP.

It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't change anything. You're just constantly getting yourself hurt. You're just constantly crying your eyes out.

And you know what? It doesn't matter to him one bit.

So do yourself a favor, AND STOP.

Dan: "That's classy Serena, thanks."
Serena: "Classy? Like you asking another girl out our first day back at school? "
Dan: "We were broken up!"
Serena: "So what Dan? It hurt! What did you expect? I love you. And just because we broke up doesn't mean I could just turn it off like that."
-From Gossip Girl Season 2, Episode 4: "The Ex-Files"

***

Hmmm. Fascinating. I agree with Serena there though. Dan may have made his point but... It does hurt. (Yes I can feel the pain! Lol)

So now, Heroes, Gossip Girl & Big Bang Theory have all had their season finale... WHAT ON EARTH AM I GOING TO WATCH NOW?!?!

"If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed"

Yep. Everything pretty much got destroyed. EPIC THANKS TO YOU.

I fell asleep while on the way home. But before that, I was thinking about our conversation earlier, how he wants me to forgive him and all that jazz.

I dreamt about being in a hospital (because I visited one of my friends in the hospital earlier today), then suddenly, his profile showed up... Walking through the doors. His face, his physique... His whole physical entity. I opened my eyes suddenly because then I knew, I was no longer having a dream, but a nightmare.

.....And Why It's Okay to Let Go



You've been telling yourself that you're going to break up with him, that you've been miserable for too long now and that you're finally going to muster up the courage to do it. So what's holding you back? You're scared. Scared to be without him, and scared of being alone. Maybe you're scared of losing the one person in your life that has made you feel like you're on top of the world. After all, he really is an amazing person even above all of his flaws; and you love him. Of course you love him. He means everythingto you........ but do you mean everything to him?



Maybe he really does love you back, but he takes you for granted, and that's not okay. Maybe he does know how amazing you are but his actions show different; and that's not okay either. Guys forget that as women, by nature, we crave and we need attention; and we can't guess at what they're feeling and what they're thinking. When we give such a huge part of ourselves to someone it's hard to ever realize that maybe what they're giving you back isn't enough anymore. If you keep telling yourself that things are going to change soon, and that they're going to get better one day, it's time to wake up. If things were ever going to change, it would've happened a long time ago. Do the good memories overshadow the bad memories? They don't. Where was he when you were crying yourself to sleep all of those nights? What was he doing when you were waiting for the call from him that never came? You've given him so much for so long and he's given you so little in return.



It's time to let go. Let go of him and all of the pain that you've suffered throughout your entire relationship. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it was yours. Most likely, it was neither. We're human, it's life, and it's okay to have faults and make mistakes as long as we learn from them.



Your relationship wasn't a mistake, but staying when you know that you're going to keep getting hurt is. Don't ever forget all of the good memories you shared with him, cherish them; and let go of all of the bad ones. End it in a way that you both get a chance to say what you feel, calmly. No fighting, it's time for that to stop once and for all. If you eventually want to be friends with him again, give it time because it's not going to be easy. Remember to take a deep breath. Do this for yourself because you deserve to be happy. This is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, and you will cry for a long time, but eventually you'll stop; and that's when you'll realize that you did the right thing.

Before I go let me tell you one last thing: if you feel that you're not ready to give up, then don't. If you love him, fight for him and fight to save your relationship, just as long as he does too; but if you've been fighting, stop. Take a break and take care of yourself, for once.



***



Yup, I've been fighting for a very, very long time.

"Do you miss him?"

"Everyday."

-From Sex & the City movie.

***

Summer is such a waste. Ugh. Plans got messed up. Well, whatever. I just hope we can get through this. Both of us coming out of this alive.

Sayang naman...

I never thought that I could hurt physically from emotional stress. Guess again.

It's just too much already. It sucks not knowing what happened in between... Then alluvasudden... IT'S GONE!

Now I'm hurting not only mentally... Emotionally... But also physically.

What the fuck happened?!

I find it amusing that NEVER & EVER translates to the same word in the French Dictionary: JAMAIS.

Ever mine, Never ours.

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